The Weird Kid
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Not cool, man
I get nervous around people with any sort of affliction. I met a woman with a lazy eye two days ago and I panicked, slightly. And the neighborhood dwarf paralyzes me, not just because he is a dwarf but he's also kind of crazy, and walks through the Bi-Mart shouting that he's going into the bathroom to meet Greg Brady. In my head I can say, "And god speed to you, sir!" but face to face, I look frightened.
I freak out because of that moment. That second when they are watching me realize that they're different, and they're waiting to see my reaction. I flash on every lousy TV show from my childhood that had stupid characters being insensitive and prejudiced to the girl in the wheelchair, the boy with the stutter, and I am so desperate not to be a stupid character.
So I freeze. Then I try to get away.
Fantastic.
I'd rather just say, "I see you have no hands. But you work that cash register flawlessly. How'd you do it?"
But that's assholic in its own way.
I freak out because of that moment. That second when they are watching me realize that they're different, and they're waiting to see my reaction. I flash on every lousy TV show from my childhood that had stupid characters being insensitive and prejudiced to the girl in the wheelchair, the boy with the stutter, and I am so desperate not to be a stupid character.
So I freeze. Then I try to get away.
Fantastic.
I'd rather just say, "I see you have no hands. But you work that cash register flawlessly. How'd you do it?"
But that's assholic in its own way.
posted by Imez at 12:01 PM
7 Comments:
"And now for something completely different."
i wonder why we expect ourselves to not react to something unusual. Does that make us an asshole?
It *is* weird to think that we're somehow not supposed to react to something unusual. One of the mom's on my son's baseball team is in a wheelchair and talks openly about her injury, but she was slightly offended when someone at the gym asked if she drove. I guess it's only okay if she brings it up. Not a judgment - just an observation.
My way of dealing with it is head fucking on. I look them right in the eye as if there are no differences between us - no lazy eye, no wheelchair, no hamster hand or flipper, whatever. An old friend of mine once noted..."the difference between people with tattoos and people without tattoos are that the people with tattoos don't care if you have any".
That's a stupid way of saying that I think disabled people don't care that you notice they're disabled, but that you treat them the same as anyone else. And they are. Not to say it doesn't throw you when faced with a flipper hand or something, because, seriously, IT FUCKING WOULD. But just let it roll and before long, you'll forget about it too. Okay, I've been drinking. This is a lot more than I wanted to say. It still makes me laugh though. Now I just need to sign off. Bye.
I think you could pull it off as long as you maintained a totally pure look of awe and admiration.
Not having no hands myself, I can't speak with any authority, but I'd like to think they would find it refreshing.
I had a job a while back working with people with "developmental disabilities" (their term) and really, I know, it's hard. You feel uncomfortable. There were times when I would be sitting next to someone and panicking. But that's kind of different from physical disabilities, because their brains are different and not just their bodies.
So I guess i don't have any sure fire cure, but you aren't the only one who gets uncomfortable. You just have to plow through it. I'd rather ask a dumb question than act like someone doesn't exist. At least I tried.
Though I don't know if I would have the nerve to say "hey! what happened to both of your hands??"
Is this vague and meandering enough? Cripes, it's early.
miss- I laughed out loud, though worried that I'm missing a meta-joke beyond Monty Python.
meno- TV told me it does.
beck- Oh, I just cannot talk to my scary dwarf long enough for him to bring it up.
jen-The funny thing is how badly I want to treat them like everyone else, and end up getting paralyzed in the process.
dan- My mom does that. "Oooo look at all the purple spikes in your hair, sweetie!"
sari- Baby you've come to the right place for vague and meandering. I like toast...
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