The Weird Kid
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Aggrevation
My neighbor cut my weeds behind my house and behind my back. They were aggravating her.
Not because they were hedging onto her property. Not because she has to look at them while she has her morning coffee. There is a low fence and a high hedge between her and the long grass of my side yard. She had her son cross the fence and hedge, with a weed-eater, and cut down all my grass.
The side yard is dominated by two enormous misplaced pine trees, so nothing will grow there but tawny field grass. I don't think of it as part of my lawn, but as sort of a small field beside my lawn.
Trying to ask her why she did it took effort, because she didn't want to talk about it. Her eyes swam around; she wanted to talk about why my car was gone two weeks, and why there was an old Mercedes with Pennsylvania plates parked in front of my house. This is the way of passive-aggression, even polite confrontation is uncomfortable.
Better to weed-wack under cover of night.
I prodded and her voice slipped from polite to a frustrated whining that revealed a real emotion. An 11-year-old's words and tone coming out of a stocky, middle-aged body. "Every time I go by there it aggravates me! You see how I keep my lawn! And I asked you if you wanted help! I offered to give you weed killer! But you didn't seem interested!"
I wasn't interested. So...it was up to her.
I want to be a good neighbor, and I told her so. I said it was more important to me than weeds. Then I asked her patience, that she would just have to wait it out with us, we're planning to re-sod and so forth in the spring. We've only been here a few months.
I don't know if I said everything right. I don't think it matters, because it will re-settle in her brain however she wants to re-settle it. In her memory I probably thanked her heartily, or screamed at her.
It's not that she cut weeds, that is bad. It's that now, I'm looking at the dirty dishes in my sink, and remembering that I need to change Smudge's crib sheet. Wondering what the neighbor would think if she saw those things. Wonder how much it would take for her to decide it was up to her, up to her to call the city, call child protective services.
How much aggrevation can she be expected to withstand?
Not because they were hedging onto her property. Not because she has to look at them while she has her morning coffee. There is a low fence and a high hedge between her and the long grass of my side yard. She had her son cross the fence and hedge, with a weed-eater, and cut down all my grass.
The side yard is dominated by two enormous misplaced pine trees, so nothing will grow there but tawny field grass. I don't think of it as part of my lawn, but as sort of a small field beside my lawn.
Trying to ask her why she did it took effort, because she didn't want to talk about it. Her eyes swam around; she wanted to talk about why my car was gone two weeks, and why there was an old Mercedes with Pennsylvania plates parked in front of my house. This is the way of passive-aggression, even polite confrontation is uncomfortable.
Better to weed-wack under cover of night.
I prodded and her voice slipped from polite to a frustrated whining that revealed a real emotion. An 11-year-old's words and tone coming out of a stocky, middle-aged body. "Every time I go by there it aggravates me! You see how I keep my lawn! And I asked you if you wanted help! I offered to give you weed killer! But you didn't seem interested!"
I wasn't interested. So...it was up to her.
I want to be a good neighbor, and I told her so. I said it was more important to me than weeds. Then I asked her patience, that she would just have to wait it out with us, we're planning to re-sod and so forth in the spring. We've only been here a few months.
I don't know if I said everything right. I don't think it matters, because it will re-settle in her brain however she wants to re-settle it. In her memory I probably thanked her heartily, or screamed at her.
It's not that she cut weeds, that is bad. It's that now, I'm looking at the dirty dishes in my sink, and remembering that I need to change Smudge's crib sheet. Wondering what the neighbor would think if she saw those things. Wonder how much it would take for her to decide it was up to her, up to her to call the city, call child protective services.
How much aggrevation can she be expected to withstand?
posted by Imez at 11:51 AM
11 Comments:
Did she just trespass? The weeds did not overgrow to her property and she came to your side and hacked them off? Legally, she can't do that.
Wow, she sounds very unstable.
This is why i try not to let people into my house. God knows what they would feel compelled to do....call the health department?
miss- yeah, the complicating thing is that on the outside, it appears to have been a neighborly thing to do. But she didn't do it for me. Unstable. After you said it I can't think otherwise.
Meno- Yeah but if they take YOUR kid away she can drive herself back, if she wants to.
Sounds like you just found a way to keep up your lawn maintenance without having to do anything but let it grow and grow and grow! Cheers to you my friend!
Sometimes neighborly imposition is a good thing and sometimes it's not, I find. When we had wildfires a few years ago (after having moved in only two months before that) and my deck was covered with ash, my neighbor hosed off her deck and mine, including all my patio furniture. Sure, she saved me the trouble, but I still found it a little invasive. Sounds like your neighbor might need a hobby (and help for her OCD)! ;^)
Interesting blog. Stopping by.
Funny how a person does something that would appear to help you, but really, it's just to help herself. And yeah...that's trespassing. I'm with MCU on that one.
Maybe you should go pick some of her flowers, ya know...just 'cause they're aggravating you. ;)
cindy- until she decides my trees have to go. And my house is an ugly color. And my baby should live with her...
beck- she has so many fucking hobbies. She does not need me as one.
sass- actually, I've been pretty aggrevated that she has two jet skis in her driveway and I don't have any. I should remedy that.
Wow. This is a powerful, deep post (or is it just me? :) Love your blog and plan to return. (I hope you have that "follow" button thingy. Off to find out!)
Funny, I had a conversation today with a sorta-friend who had a similar experience. Her across-the-alley neighbor trimmed my friend's trees in the middle of the night. I said, "Damn, how pissed were you?" She said, "I wasn't, really. It just hurt my feelings." So I guess she felt more insulted than invaded.
I forbid you to spend another moment letting this woman make you think badly of yourself. She's wack.
I have issues with the whole personal boundaries and private space topics, but she went way beyond what was good-neighborly or even LEGAL to do. You definitely handled it much better than many of us would have. Maybe instead of re-sodding, you should put up an 8-foot fence. If you've only been there a few months and she's already doing this to you, I doubt anything less than that is going make this problem better in the future. Also, consider barbed wire.
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