The Weird Kid
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Self-abuse Causes Insanity.
My therapist is a pretty lesbian, cute like an 11-year-old tomboy with a leather couch and $110-an-hour price on her time. I think she is brilliant, but I tend to deify.
I complain, I yank out the story of my trip, quoting my own blog liberally because it's much smoother in print. I say, I felt fat. I felt useless. I don't like my family. I'm a failure.
And she looks, undeniably, bored. For the first time in 2 years.
"Mez, are any of those thoughts helping? Or are you just addicted to, enjoying, feeling lousy?"
I slide down the couch to the floor, and press my head to the seat cushions. I knew this was coming. She and I have said all there is to say. Now she's just waiting for me to decide to stop. To decide the pain of change hurts less than the pain of still being me every day. I speak through my armpit to her.
"I'm emotionally masturbating, aren't I?"
She perks up. "What an excellent term for it!"
Thanks.
I complain, I yank out the story of my trip, quoting my own blog liberally because it's much smoother in print. I say, I felt fat. I felt useless. I don't like my family. I'm a failure.
And she looks, undeniably, bored. For the first time in 2 years.
"Mez, are any of those thoughts helping? Or are you just addicted to, enjoying, feeling lousy?"
I slide down the couch to the floor, and press my head to the seat cushions. I knew this was coming. She and I have said all there is to say. Now she's just waiting for me to decide to stop. To decide the pain of change hurts less than the pain of still being me every day. I speak through my armpit to her.
"I'm emotionally masturbating, aren't I?"
She perks up. "What an excellent term for it!"
Thanks.
posted by Imez at 2:32 PM
9 Comments:
I love that term. That's the truth, isn't it?
Oh, and I answered your question. I hope you don't mind I linked to you. I figured you wouldn't. Keep it up - always enjoyable and/or insightful.
She's so gonna use that great term from now on. And she should pay you for it. ;^)
Ah, we have a Jill A. Davis on our hands!
That is a great term! Emotionally masturbating!
That, my dear, is a fabulous term. And so dead on, too.
I agree that you should be paid for coining a phrase. :)
LMFAO! Emotionally masturbating! Now I know what it's called. I do it all day and finally I know how to describe it!!!
jen- I just read it. 22 years. If I look around will I find the story of your reunion?
beck- at least knock it down to $90 an hour.
miss- I don't know who that is. So I'm not saying thank you, not yet. If she's junkie whore I'll be very disappointed.
sass- This is because I myself am fabulous
cindy- and YOU didn't have to pay thousands of dollars to find out.
That term is brilliant. Do you mind if I borrow it and use it constantly in my every day life? Maybe YOU should start charging.
LOL Jill A. Davis used to be a writer for the David Letterman show, then left the show to write Girls Poker Night. It's a funny book.
You are brilliant; the way you think, and the way you write. Your therapist doesn't have the initials N.B., does she? She sounds like someone I know!
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