The Weird Kid
Monday, January 5, 2009
No, actually, my Christmas wasn't entirely good. The day, the actual day. I fucked it up a bit.
I don't know why. Sean said he would but didn't make his crepes, and it seemed such a blight on the happiness. Happiness just doesn't happen. Someone has to build and carry it. I carried it for weeks leading up to that day.
But that was just a tiny puncture through which 1000 pounds of pressure was seeking escape. Maybe I was going to melt down no matter what.
I spent a good portion of Christmas afternoon driving deep as I dared into the woods, then trespassing in fields of mud and snow crust. Screaming, crying, hating, all these things with no object. I came home and made a Christmas dinner, but it felt so pointless, the three of us, not talking around the table. I wasn't better till the next morning.
All this time later I still don't know what happened.
Tomorrow I'm taking a class. A 400 level composition class at the university Sean works at. It is not grad school, but it is real and it is progress and the universe handed it to me.
I don't know why. Sean said he would but didn't make his crepes, and it seemed such a blight on the happiness. Happiness just doesn't happen. Someone has to build and carry it. I carried it for weeks leading up to that day.
But that was just a tiny puncture through which 1000 pounds of pressure was seeking escape. Maybe I was going to melt down no matter what.
I spent a good portion of Christmas afternoon driving deep as I dared into the woods, then trespassing in fields of mud and snow crust. Screaming, crying, hating, all these things with no object. I came home and made a Christmas dinner, but it felt so pointless, the three of us, not talking around the table. I wasn't better till the next morning.
All this time later I still don't know what happened.
Tomorrow I'm taking a class. A 400 level composition class at the university Sean works at. It is not grad school, but it is real and it is progress and the universe handed it to me.
posted by Imez at 12:18 PM
8 Comments:
I don't know what to say, but I can't click away without saying something.
Even before reading this, I always thought crepes were totally overrated.
Hugs.
good luck with your class, I hope you enjoy it.
It's hard to put a number on the heartaches crepes have caused throughout human history. It's up there.
Still...I like crepes.
I like Swedish pancakes even more but, hey, that's just me.
I hope you enjoy your class. You've got talent. Put it out there.
looking forward to hearing about your class. maybe you'll share some of your work with us?
also, aren't crepes those thin pancakes? (sorry, i couldn't resist. we just watched taladega nights last week.)
Yay! You're back! Now that you don't have to try to be all sunshine and daffodils. :)
I'm sorry about Christmas; that sounds so much like something I would do. Seriously...I tend to go on like everything is fine and then KABOOOM!!! So hey, we have that in common.
And I'm with you, crepes promised had BETTER be crepes delivered.
Anything promised and undelivered feels cruel.
In context, I'm less of a cretin.
Ha ha! Were you ... too tired?
No matter what you say, we're all going to rally around our friend, rub her back and whisper nasty things about you in her ear... and then smile and say thanks when you offer us coffee.
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