The Weird Kid
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Who, me?
The policeman's questions were a subtle lead to culpability.
"Where are you coming from?"
-Portland
"What were you doing there?"
-Girl's night.
"I pulled you over because you drifted toward the white line."
We were near an intersection, and there seemed to be many, many lines on the road. I pointed to the one my car was sitting on.
-That one?
"Yeah. It made me think you'd been drinking."
-silent (don't do his job for him).
"Have you had anything to drink tonight."
-Proudly, exactly. One half of one Mojito with two glasses of water, two hours ago. (HA! Suck it.)
"That's it?"
-I think alcohol tastes like cough syrup (and prescription tranquilizers work way better).
"Why'd you drink any?"
-Sociable!
Still he made me get out and follow his glowing thumb, in and out of my peripheral vision. Then he said, "Aw, you're just tired." Gave me my stuff. I drove the mile left to home.
Truth is, I think it's been a secret fantasy to have a sobriety test that I was sure to pass. I'd also like to have a chance to hold up heroically under vicious cross-examination in a court of law, someday. Preferably in Georgia.
I love being innocent.
"Where are you coming from?"
-Portland
"What were you doing there?"
-Girl's night.
"I pulled you over because you drifted toward the white line."
We were near an intersection, and there seemed to be many, many lines on the road. I pointed to the one my car was sitting on.
-That one?
"Yeah. It made me think you'd been drinking."
-silent (don't do his job for him).
"Have you had anything to drink tonight."
-Proudly, exactly. One half of one Mojito with two glasses of water, two hours ago. (HA! Suck it.)
"That's it?"
-I think alcohol tastes like cough syrup (and prescription tranquilizers work way better).
"Why'd you drink any?"
-Sociable!
Still he made me get out and follow his glowing thumb, in and out of my peripheral vision. Then he said, "Aw, you're just tired." Gave me my stuff. I drove the mile left to home.
Truth is, I think it's been a secret fantasy to have a sobriety test that I was sure to pass. I'd also like to have a chance to hold up heroically under vicious cross-examination in a court of law, someday. Preferably in Georgia.
I love being innocent.
posted by Imez at 11:08 AM
3 Comments:
You have a much better sense of humor than I. I'm so afraid of authority, I would have been shaking too hard to pass the test.
I am also afraid of authority! You are my hero.
You did great, drinking or not, i always bust into tears! I have since i was young, it's twisted really. but i agree totally, i've always wanted to be pulled over totally sober so i could pass..... someday, someday it will happen.
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